A Clean Slate and a bit of Tough Love

I don't know how to deal with being last, I don't know how to be a regular freshman and work my way up if it takes longer than the first three races of the season. I don't know how to handle all of this and I've shut down. I am not the runner I was, I don't feel in shape when I know I am and its an excuse I've been using to comfort myself. I am my biggest weakness. I set standards I desire to have but have failed to work for. I have never been lazy like this before, I am in a deep hole and I have to climb out. I ruin myself. I know times I've ran before and when I don't hit them again or struggle to, I fall apart. I have never been slower in a season since I've started running, I don't know how to handle it or how to approach it positively. The one time I was, I had low iron; and apart from having a sore throat I don't know if anything is wrong with my other than my ability to believe in myself. I don't know how to subdue to my ego and start all over. I have had a constant battle with running for so long I don't remember how to run for myself. I know I did as a freshman in high school, I didn't know what I was doing or what I was capable of. As soon as I got fast it became a battle within myself to please my dad, I could never run fast enough, I could always do more speed work or 400's, if he coached me I could break five easily, which I never did. Then it was a battle for recognition, I felt important on the team but never felt important from one coach. This might start problems but I don't care, if this is how I find myself again as an athlete than it needs to be said. I don't feel like I have honestly been someone that needed a medal or a title or praise but to feel like you never had it is something different. I don't know what it was, I felt like we always butted heads, I don't particularly know why, towards the end things were better but I just could never relate to you it seemed like the other athletes. I don't know if this was brought on by myself or a jealousy of how I thought everyone else's coach-athlete relationship was to you, I don't know. I just never felt comfortable, or recognized. I always felt like I was battling you, like I had to prove you wrong or show you up, and that probably isn't how it should have been, I know that isn't how it should be. There are those who got it all the time, and those who were babied and pampered and they sat out of things when I ran everything and to me, that was how I became a stronger person, I put aside my desire to be applauded and tried to take advantage of every race I got, something I know I didn't do this season. To the twins, I love you, but I felt like I could never live up to you. Ever. And it wasn't your fault. It didn't matter how fast I ran or how consistent I was I would never be as good, end of story. So I latched onto another motivation to help me run. I wanted to run for Nebraska. So I focussed on track because those were the time standards I was given, and I looked at all of the girls' times on the team and I tried to come close to their high school bests because if they could do it and I came close or did than I knew I could make it too. So I tried to impress Jay with every opportunity I had, and I used that as my fuel for two years and I seemed to always run well in front of him so every time I did I was motivated even more. And then finally, after Mt.SAC Relays in the mile when I broke 5:10 for the first time, I believed in myself. I wanted to break five so bad and I was going to run every workout with that in my mind as my ultimate goal. And I went out and ran a lot faster the next week at IEC, and I was running repeat 400's all at or under 70 and I was on top of the world. I haven't felt like that since, because I let things get in my way.  I have used my dad and Soles and Jay as an excuse, a motivation, to prove them wrong or right, but I have only ran maybe five races in my life that were just for me. For me, if I set my reasons for someone else, I don't want to let them down, or I get mad and want to show them up, but its easiest for me to give up if I am running for myself, and that isn't how it should be at all. It should be the opposite. I have struggled since track ended to be entirely happy with running, I have had a lot of downs in the roller coaster of distance running and my confidence in coming back up again has been thin. I can run workouts just fine but when we have time trials or anything with a title I go straight to the back and put myself out of the hunt before it even begins. I spent so long dreaming of running here that once I got here I didn't know what to do, and I got into a slump and didn't pick myself up out of it. And I didn't run anywhere near my ability and I didn't put in the effort I should have and I know that now. And I know that my biggest support through all of this has been my mom, I don't always know how to take her tough love but its usually everything I need to hear, thanks mom, you have made me the runner I was and I am capable of being. So I won't be writing a lot on this blog, I need to find myself and fix myself before I can help others around me like I'm so used to. I'll write again when I am myself, I'm pretty sure the process of starting over begins now. It's going to take a lot of hard work and I am finally ready to give it my all again.
I hope everyone is well and I know that I'm going to get there soon and that all of this had to be said, I can't keep it inside anymore if I want to move on.
This will be my last blog of 2010
Happy Holidays,

Sam

Coach, no wind.

NOT.
How about 28 mph winds from the north? We had a nice run yesterday, low mileage with drills and core. We went inside the rec to do drills and core because of the wind, basically an indoor turf field.

I'm baaaaaaaack :)

I had a really good workout yesterday, its finally all starting to click together. We did 3k, 2k, 1k with 2mi warm up and 2mi cool down. I  was about 42 seconds faster through the 3k than I was the last time we ran this workout so that was really a confidence booster.Today we had a nice long run, it was a quicker pace for me than normal but it felt just right. I'm starting to adjust to running faster, and my body is feeling it! Right hammy is pretty sore ha ha but thats the beauty of running ;) Hope all is well!

Happy November

I hope everyone had a good Halloween weekend, I did. Back to business now though, today is a recovery run and tomorrow a workout. A busy week ahead... bio tutor tonight, bio lab tomorrow, math test make-up on Wednesday morning, bible study Wednesday night, a film for english Thursday evening, a play for theatre on Friday night. I hope everyone is doing well, post any questions or comments you have and I'll get back to you a-sap.

The women competed at Big XII's this weekend, finishing 8th in the final Big XII Championships for Nebraska. Lara Crofford led us with a 10th place finish, the first Husker Cross woman to recieve 3 All Big XII team recognitions for her high placings at Conference. Martina was 16th in a speedy 21:03 and everyone else did the best they could to help the Huskers earn their 8th place showing. The men were 6th and the top 7 of each team continue on to Regionals in two weeks, go big red!

Two months and two weeks until Indoor track kicks off with the first race of the season!

Quick update

60 degree temperatures and 35 mph winds + running, wooh :) An easy 2 mile warm up, 2 mile fartlek and 2 mile cooldown (plus morning run) out on MoPac, a fun ride back w/ Doug (coach) who got us some pop (thanks Doug!). For all you Californians, pop = soda. The night ended even better with the Halloween dinner at the Training Table and finishing an english essay.

It's amazing what you can do when you rediscover your passion

Today was a lot better for me regarding running, I haven't felt as good as I did all season, which is a good thing because it means I'm getting better :) I did a morning run and then today's practice was easy, just a run with 8 x 100m strides with 100m jog in between, a cool-down mile and some drills and core. It felt really natural today, not completely effortless but I was a lot less tense. Sometimes, as my mom would say, you have to leave the brain in the dorm before you go to practice, haha. So its getting better, yay! It's also starting to get colder here, the high tomorrow is 60 and it was really windy today, I thought I was going to fall off my bike.. I had my biology lab midterm today, its about that time in college when the number of tests you have left in the semester is shrinking and finals are in a month and a half already! This weekend is the Missouri vs. Nebraska game at home, while the Cross country team will travel to Stillwater Oklahoma to run in their final Big XII Championships, it is an eventful week.

Struggles

I've been having a hard time dealing with everything, not performing how I'd like or feeling like I'd prefer, but hopefully these hard times pass and my motivation spikes up again. I'm thinking that I need to be a normal college kid this weekend and have some fun as well as enjoying the runs I have this weekend rather than focussing on how fast they are or how well I feel. Another reminder, some comments would be nice, I feel like I'm talking to a wall sometimes.. :)

Final Run as a Frosh

Pre-nats was my last race for my cross country season, I had an off day and the race wasn't that great but the experience will pay off I'm sure. If I have any advice or message to pass on to you Great Oakians its this: take advantage of every race you have, give everything your best, especially with how often you race.. In college, you get maybe 3 races, then the rest of the season you have to earn, any off races or slip ups and you're done until the next year; so keep your heads up, keep pushing. My biggest transition of the season I would say is dealing with being one of the top runners on a nationally ranked team to fighting for the chance to race on a team that isn't as highly ranked, the biggest transition though would have to have been adapting to training. Running 7:30 'training runs' twice a week for 8 miles in high school,  in college you're one of the last runners if you do that for 8, usually two to three times a week, plus tempos at 6:00-6:30 pace. Even though my racing season is over, Cross isn't and I'll keep training with the team through November and then transition to more track workouts to prep for Indoors in January. I'll also be continually posting more blogs to keep you up to date with workouts and college life, if you're reading this, leave a comment and say hello!! This blog isn't just for GOXC kids either, I know some of you parents are reading.. don't be shy or hesitant to ask questions either :) Hope everything is grand in Cal, fall is beautiful here in Nebraska!

Start of the Race

2010 Women's Cross Country

Finding Rhythm

Today's workout was 5 x 1k repeats again out by a lake/pond at a park just on the outskirts of the University grounds. We ran about 1.5 miles there as a warm up and then stretched, put on our flats and began the reps. I'm not sure what it is about this distance or this workout but my body seems to react well to it as I improve everytime we run it. I started out with a 4:08 average the first time we completed the workout, last time I averaged 3:42 and this week, my slowest rep was 3:34 and my fastest at 3:27, averaging about 3:31.2 =) It has taken some time for me to fully adjust, but I must say, the shorter mileage at a faster pace, the workouts and the tempos are starting to pay off; and the taste is sweet. I'm starting to feel more relaxed running at a faster pace and less intimidated by the intensity of workouts. I've never been one to be "afraid" of a particular workout, but the pace of workouts in college is so much faster, my results at first were less than encouraging in the mind of someone who trys to stay mentally tough through everything. Perserverance is definitely the key to success, and patience is important when transitioning. You'd think it'd be different, being a freshman in high school, the average runner has little to no experience regarding running and what workouts look like or feel like. Being a freshman in college, you've had four or more years of experience with certain workouts and strategies, you don't expect it to be so different like when you were entering high school because of what you think you know. As Jay puts it, you're a tourist in a new town with an old suitcase. I can testify that this is definitely true. As I've said before, what you did in high school doesn't immediately impact how you'll do in college, the transition is a big one and it takes time, more than you'd think.

Just you're average Saturday

It started with a long run with teammates Jesse, Anthony, Lara, Martina and Jen! I'm pretty sure its the fastest 8 miles I've ever ran followed by 4 more (a lot slower.. than the 7:11 average prior) After this, I downed a Naked Juice, an Orange Juice, a bottle of water, vitamins, and a Luna bar. I then proceeded to buy the sweetest pair of Oakley's I have ever seen!! They have red iridium lenses with all white frames. I am excited to wear them, to say the least. Then the student part of me attended two plays for Theatre class. It's now one in the morning, good morning and have a great Sunday!

Surrounded by Studs

It is amazing the people who are D1 athletes, I'm laying on the turf watching the Huskers play K-State (GoBigRed!!!) On ESPN, seeing players I see in the training room on television. Today at practice, the track team was on the track, I look at the jumps group and see jumps-famous Coach Pepin and former Husker Dusty Jonas (who has a high jump PR of 7-8.75!). It is awesome being a college athlete! GO BIG RED

2010 Adidas Invitational

Wisconsin was great! Some of you have probably already seen the course if you watched the videos of the Big Ten Championships, but the 6k race was held on the Wisconsin Cross Country Course which is an absolute beauty! The course was built for the sole purpose of hosting cross country races and is well maintained and spectator friendly. Ran on perfectly green grass, the course consists of one large loop accompanied by a smaller loop, but it doesn't feel like you're ever running in the same spot. The race had 20 teams in it and we were 9th. I was 171st in 23:25, a thirty second PR from two weeks ago, so I was very satisfied with how I did :) The race was really fast as our number one scorer Lara was 7th in 20:21 (a new PR for her), mind you, she was right behind last year's NCAA runner-up Kendra Schaaf. A lot of our women had good races this weekend and our men looked really strong too with three sub-25 performances led by David who had a fantastic last 1k to take 9th in 23:51. After the race I got to eat lunch with my mom and it was really nice to see her (and hear her!) throughout my race. It was a good weekend, now I'm sitting in Theatre and then I'll be off to practice to get ready for Pre-Nationals on October 16th.

Wisconsin in 48 Hours!

Today I have some sprint/hurdle drills and core and then tomorrow we leave around 6:30 AM for our bus ride to Wisconsin. We are taking 12 men and 12 women and will be competing against some very good Division 1 schools including six nationally ranked teams:Florida (7th), Syracuse (11th), Michigan (22nd), Michigan State (20th) and North Carolina (29th).

Daily Update

Wisconsin has been changed to a 6k course, so 6k #2 on Saturday.
6 x 1k repeats today, they went well.
(avg two weeks ago, 4:08; avg today: 3:42)
:)

Water girls

Today the women volunteered at the Omaha Marathon. We were at mile 21 and had a water station where we handed out water, gatorade, and cheered for all of the marathoners. It was really a neat experience to help out our fellow running community and get to cheer them on as they reached what is said to be the hardest part of the marathon. There were a lot of runners in the 50 States club, each had run or was in the process of running 50 marathons in 50 states. We also met a woman who had run 109 marathons from 2004-2010, and encountered two barefoot marathoners. It was a great day and now it's time for bed as the week starts tomorrow in preparation for Wisconsin on Saturday!

"Thirsty Thursday" for an XC runner means..

DAIRY QUEEN BLIZZARDS with some of my teammates. We had an easy run today followed by pouring rain and some hurdle drills. Then dinner and it was DQ-time :) The Husker Homecoming game is this Saturday and on Sunday the team is volunteering at a water station at the Omaha Marathon.
!Viva Corriendo!

The Midwest doesn't like to listen to its Weather Forecasts.

The other day there was an "80% chance of rain" and not a single drop, a few days later only a 30% chance and it poured randomly throughout the day. This past weekend was overcast and around 60 degrees and Monday was around 90. Yesterday the wind was really strong and we ran against it for the first half of our run, which of course killed your legs, and then when you turned around and the wind was to your back it was still challenging because it felt about 10 degrees hotter. My legs are definitely a bit fatigued but its been raining on and off today and is overcast so my run should be better! I spent most of my day typing up homework in the computer lab in the Hewit (athletic area) and then headed over to the Landing for my daily trail mix :) Almost every other day there is some sort of tour going on throughout the facilities, it is really neat to see all of the people here so interested in Husker athletics, the other day there were some people from an old folks' home, and today there were a lot of international people as well as a younger football team. Basically, you feel like a celebrity sometimes when everyone turns and looks as you walk away with your cup of gatorade. I'm not sure if I've described this before in previous blogs but it still amazes me all of the "school-spirit" (although its Statewide..) that Nebraska has. It's definitely an amazing feeling to be part of such a big school with so many people who are loyal fans. There is so much history in Nebraska's athletic department, from all of the chants and cheers everyone knows at the games to the Lucky Horseshoe hanging by the locker room (which I am unsure of the story behind... and the football team takes all that luck from all the other sports when they travel ;)

It really is an honor and a  privilege to be a Husker.
600 Student Athletes, 23 NCAA Teams,
"ONE Nation"
GO BIG RED!

P.S: my foot has been feeling a lot better, I don't wear the orthotic-pad I was given anymore and am pain free :) Thank you STEM and Ice

An average day

Goodmorning, drug test! D1 NCAA mandates drug tests randomly, today I had one. Then it was time for English, Bio, Theatre and off to practice soon for an 8 miler

When you relax, good things happen.

So after my mom's very helpful pep-talk, I went to practice and did the workout. We had 4 x 1 mile repeats out on this dirt road about 10 minutes out of town. We did the warm up and after 2 miles I was already super sweaty because of the humidity. Our workout was 1 repeat out then a 4 minute break and then 1 mile back and then out and then back. The way out was usually faster because it starts uphill for about 200m but then goes down until you get to the last 400m which is a gradual up. It was humid and there were bugs that bit you and sometimes you'd kill them and there'd be blood, gross I know lol but it was crazy. For my reps, I was 5:43, 6:11, 6:00, and 6:05 which was really exciting because I ran a lot slower the last time we did this workout and we did it on a flat road. After the run we cooled down back to where we were dropped off and then headed back to the track office. Then it was to the Landing where I got some gatorade and to the Training Table for my yummy dinner! Time to study, thanks for reading. I'll let you know how the rest of the week goes. :)

Hello readers

So I kind of feel like I'm writing to nobody, but my mom told me a lot of you check this often, so I'll start blogging more. I have practice soon, today we have 2 mile warm up, 4 x 1 mile repeats on a dirt road, and a 2 mile cool down (and I did a morning run today, 4 miles). So this transition has definitely been a struggle, the team is incredible though, it is just extremely different being on the lower end of things. It can be discouraging and it's probably me just being hard on myself, like always. But hopefully today is better, I'm trying to focus on my progress and not what is going on around me or who is doing once. As my dad would say, "run your race" but I'm sure all of you know how challenging it can be to ignore what surrounds you. Our next race is the Wisconsin Adidas Invitational (5k), this is a big one with a lot of nationally ranked D1 schools in it (Wisconsin, Duke, etc.) That is in two weeks, so from now to then I'm hoping to find myself again and RELAX and just go for it. Well I'm off to practice, hope all is well in CA and I'll get back to blogging more :)